taobao

Oh, What A Wonderful Web

Okay, so let’s start this off easy with things you probably can’t find on Amazon, but definitely can find on Taobao. After that, it will get increasingly weird so don’t say you weren’t warned. (The items were kept PG13 and relatively SFW – trust us when we say it can get weirder)

Live Animals

Looking for a pet? Look no further! Searching the dark corners of Taobao you can find not only dogs and cats but also scorpions, glowworms and alpacas. Good news, the alpaca comes with free shipping!

Taobao

Animal Clothing

Now that you have your pet, it’s time to buy it some clothes and accessories. Do a simple “dog clothing” search and find everything your heart desires from overalls to tuxedo suits and halloween costumes. Rhinestone covered dog-onesie anyone?

Taobao
Taobao
Taobao

Not-So-Live Animals

Alright, a bit more on the morbid side, but you can find some strange dead animals on Taobao. Aside from the ordinarily terrifying taxidermy-d animals to – wait for it – single dead mosquitos, for just 0.01RMB per dead mosquito. What a steal!

Taobao
Taobao
Taobao

Botox And Face Shapers

Ready for botox but not ready for the price? You’re in luck – Taobao sells DIY botox kits starting at 10RMB! Please, never purchase this.

Instead, go for something less permanently damaging yet equally scary – face shapers.

Taobao
Taobao
taobao

Someone To Yell At

Feeling stressed or angry and need someone to take it out on? Apparently, many Chinese people think the same and others are ready to listen. Pay someone for a few minutes of yelling time and get all of your frustrations out, sometimes, they even offer advice or a conversation afterwards.

Someone To Bring Home

We all know the pressure of seeing your family and being bombarded with questions about your love life. Oh, you’re still single?

Fear no more, Taobao has a solution. A fake boyfriend/girlfriend. For about 1000RMB per day, you can leave your single life behind. Spend the day together or bring them home for the holidays. Mom and dad will be so proud!

Want to learn more about China’s vibrant cyberculture? Check out our other articles on China’s Tech Giants and Chinese Social Media.

And if you’re ready to learn all the Chinese you need to become a Taobao expert, consider applying to one of our award-winning language programs in China today!